COMMUNICATION SKILLS "GAMES"
The following is a series of "games" which have been found quite useful in
helping "a bunch of interested people" learn to communicate! with each other,
taking them one further step towards forming the "group mind" necessary to work
together as a coven in circle.
Monitor's Notes:
There are a few brief rules which must be observed in order to make these games
more productive for the participants. These are:
1. NOTHING which is said during the games may be discussed
outside the games without the consent of ALL parties
involved in the subject. This is enforced by personal
honour only, but must be stressed at the onset of the
series.
2. Everyone's attention should be on the two people involved in
the conversation. No off-side comments or conversation will
be tolerated.
3. Each step of the series MUST be accomplished in the exact
sequence necessary. Example:
Person 1 - "Tell me something you like about me."
Person 2 - "I like the clothes you choose."
Person 1 - "Thank you."
It is the Monitor's main task to see that each step is performed before going on
to the next. The first step is Person 1's opening statement or question. Step
two is Person 2's response. Step three, Person 1's acknowledgment.
In the sequences with Person 1 asking (or stating) two communications, the steps
are as follows: Person 1 opens with "Is there" or "There is", Person 2 respond
with "yes" or "no". If "no", then Person 1 acknowledges, and moves to the next
person. If "yes", then Person 1 opens, Person 2 responds with "yes", Person 2
continues with statement or question asked for, then Person 1 acknowledges (or
answers, whereupon Person 2 acknowledges).
Without going into gory detail, the steps are similar in the games where Person
1 opens with "There is something I would like to tell/ask you." Person 2
responding with "Would you like to ask me now?", etc.
4. The word WHY, either as question or as statement is NOT
ALLOWED! There are too many defense mechanisms built-in to
this word for productive answers to be given or understood.
5. For any answer requested in the first five games, the
answer-er has three options...They may tell the truth, they
may lie, or they may refuse to answer. All must be
accepted. In HOT SEAT only, are there only two options...In
answering the questions you may lie or you may tell the
truth, but you may not refuse to answer.
6. Last, and most important...JUSTIFICATION OF REASONING OR
ACTIONS IS DISALLOWED! This is the most judgmental ruling
on the part of the Monitor. It is up to the Monitor alone
to determine whether and answer is a statement of fact, or a
defensive maneuver. This is the hardest part, so be alert.
Finally, when in the course of the circular nature of things the Monitor comes
due for a turn, Monitor-ship should be turned over to any other member of the
group, and may change from turn to turn, depending on who is participating and
who is Monitor. This can be accomplished with a simple "Stop", and something
akin to the following:
"Joe Schwartz, I designate you Monitor for the duration of my turn."
With Joe S. returning Monitor-ship in a like manner when the turn is ended.
The Games are illustrated here in more detailed "script-form" so that you may
understand the course of events in each. All should be seated in a circle so
that while one person is talking all the others will be able to see the speaker,
as well as all being able to see the Monitor. Anyone wishing to get the
Monitor's attention may raise a hand, or say "Excuse me", but "Stop" is
reserved as the Monitor's code-word.
Note: It is acceptable, on the Monitor's decision, to clarify
an answer if the person receiving the answer does not
understand, in any of the games.
GAME 1 - FLATTERY:
P1: "Tell me something you like about me."
P2: "I like your hairstyle"
P1: "Thank you. Tell me something you don't like about me."
P2: "I don't like your use of the word "socie-cal"".
P1: "O.K. Tell me something you like about me."
P2: "I like the way you have with animals."
P1: "Thank you."
GAME 2:
Option 1:
P1: "Is there something you would like to tell me that you have
not previously told me?"
P2: "Yes."
P1: "Would you like to tell me now?"
P2: "Yes, I always feel left out when you do xxx thing."
P1: "Thank you."
Option 2:
P1: "Is there something you would like to tell me that you have
not previously told me?"
P2: "Yes."
P1: "Would you like to tell me now?"
P2: "No."
P1: "Thank you."
Option 3:
P1: "Is there something you would like to tell me that you have
not previously told me?"
P2: "No."
P1: "O.K."
GAME 3:
P1: "Is there something you would like to ask me which you have
not previously asked me?"
P2: "Yes."
P1: "Would you like to ask me now?"
P2: "Yes. How is it that when someone rings the doorbell, the
first word you say is "damn"?"
P1: "I don't know. Wait, yes I do know...the doorbell always
disturbs my concentration on what I'm doing at the time."
P2: "Thank you."
As with the previous game, Options 2 and 3 apply also.
GAME 4:
P1: "There is something I would like to tell you that I have not
previously told you." (Note: Make something up, if
necessary)
P2: "Would you like to tell me now?"
P1: "Yes. It concerns me that you don't seem to be getting
enough sleep."
P2: "All right."
Options 2 and 3...
GAME 5:
P1: "There is something I would like to ask you that I have not
previously asked you."
P2: "Would you like to ask me now?"
P1: "Yes. Where do you go when you get angry and storm out of
the apartment?"
P2: "I go for a walk in the park." (Monitor's note...watch out
for "I go for a walk in order to/because/so I can...these
are justifications)
P1: "Thank you."
Options 2 and 3...
GAME 6 - HOT SEAT (ORACLE):
One chair in the room is designated the "Hot seat". One at a time, each
participant sits in this chair and in rotation, each of the other people ask
them one question, to which there MUST BE A REPLY. Remember, you can tell the
truth or you can lie.
These are the "Comm. Games" as they are at this point. Names could be assigned
to the intermediate four, and some temporary rules may be agreed upon at the
start of each game, with the consent of ALL PARTIES.
We suggest that these games be played through from the first to the last with
only short breaks between them, in order to maximize the effect. Playing them
one at a time in consecutive class sessions, or on separate days, seems to
lessen their effectiveness. One class session or gathering should be scheduled
following the series to discuss the feelings of the "Players".
ENJOY!!!!
........Kyri Comyn, Hernesgaard
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