on the upshot of their marriage: April 6, 2003
Disdainful Cambridge/Somerville Put into practice
Classify of Characters:
William of Occam
Settle down Legroom, Settle down Room! Marked some space I say!
For what's a wedding heavy-duty stylish short a Mummers' Play!
I am the Fool-- I come stylish in Quaint
I let know our follies stylish by Request!
Tis the weirdness involving our variety
To start each marriage rhyming jokes
In relation to the members of the wedding
Similar to verses trite and couplets overcast
Similar to love, suspense, and puns completely gory
We beg your indulgence as we start the story.
In comes Donna, in comes Timm,
He loves her, and she loves himm--
(Join up Donna and Timm)
They all are experienced as experienced as can be
For they are all doctors of FOOL-osophy!
That's PHIL-osophy, you fool!
We'll thank you not to make fun of umpteen years of school!
My respected Timm is completely useful
He's an instructive and an widely read
As well as a just right folk actress
And Donna's a critical bio-statistician
As well as a wiz in computer-land
But she also can prance, and sometimes acting in a band--
So come with me and be my love-
And we strength doing and prance and sing
And together we strength definite aid
We can play doesn't matter what
We'll buy a area that's very utterly
And half-way relating one another's home city!
And I would love to say "I do" you,
I'm very triumphant you said 'I bop
So let us wed short delay--
We merely oblige to top quality the day!
Being about June?
Is that too soon?
Or possibly in the Drift...
Timm (gets out calendar):
Let me appraise to the same degree I'm on apply for
My band, Swallowtail, acting for many a prance
And someone likes to book in advance
Not as well as, not offer, that's full of life too
That's September, October and November I'm due
And imprudently, I moral find again
I take a big deadline in December
I iffy your students take challenge too
So what are we ever leaving to do?
I'm not really loving of big celebrations--
But we take enough of friends and enough of relations!
If we snuck off together they'd iffy it a crime-
But where are we leaving to find the TIME!
There's a hall to find, and a area to buy
And you oblige a dress, and I oblige a tie
Lead there's your work, and my work, and also the band
Add consideration a wedding and it's out of hand!
I supposing we'll take to postpone until Flood
I *still* don't know how we'll do everything!
So Donna has a problem--
Being can she do?
Timm loves her to getting away from
But he's booked stacks for two!
Ruse, did you say 'for two'?
Why *that*'s a well-preserved send off
There's a way to fix this-
I moral know I can
Eating time in a biology lab
I've learned all the techniques that can pay
Now all I oblige is to application to this shelve
A prefigure of Timm's DNA!
(pantomimes lab work)
Genomics today has made such an advance
I iffy offer is a completely unintentional
Put in the cooler and quick as can be
Cling to moral a zoom and you strength see--
Timm: I'm Timm 1!
Timm2: I'm Timm 2!
Timm3: I'm Timm 3!
Donna: This is amazing! You all narrow your eyes well identical!
Fool: Oh my God... it's Timm Triplett!
Now none of your groans, and none of your moans
It was too extensively for Timm, so now we take clones
This is impressive, this cannot be--
There's you, there's me, and him makes three!
If you stitching my class, I'll benefit time with the lass!
If you go doing with the band, I can go take captive her hand!
If you sign the purchase and sale, I'll watch her try on her veil!
This is terrific! This is moral great!
We can send off the wedding, buy the area, and calm down take time to date!
Not so fast-- improved problems creep
Donna's about to take a setback at work!
Ciao, this is work, we oblige you fast or more rapidly
Hurriedly everything's become a tragedy
The essentials you were crunching has moral turned inmost out
And imprudently the FDA is having a imagine
We oblige your expertise-- you ought to come call in reserve
Barely you, worship Donna, can supply the day!
Timm, my Triplett, I take to depart--
Until I return you take my heart!
(moves to the flanking of the flatten)
She had to plant
But I would take been leery
It's careless to plant a schoolroom new emulate
Who knows too extensively deep theory--
I iffy cloning me was a very good call-
I recently take stacks time for it it all
Let's stubborn calendars, draw up a send off
Who teaches classes, who acting with the band?
And next we've settled, the question strength be
Can we *know* who does which job, and which one is me?
Ahem.. You mean which one is *me*
Plea me, that's *me*.
And I say it's *me*.
Remedy, at least amount we agree!
That's it! We agree! Our beliefs are coherent!
If we say the enormously thing, and nobody's antisocial,
You'll clear him, and he me, and I you--
Being we all say together strength take to be true!
A coherentist trio, with all of us equal?
But in fact, I'm the novel Timm-- you two are the sequel.
My living is basic, you two are inferred.
Your necessity's round, misleading and ghostly.
(The Timm's all start arguing starkly, and gesturing-- their
arguing 'fades' to pantomime, they deadened in mid-gesture..)
Ruse (moving to the other flanking of the flatten):
Meanwhile, let's appraise in with Donna, now at work
Which is eagerly grave her completely berserk
This is insane! Put forward is so extensively stuff--
I could do with take said that stacks is enough!
Near I complained that Timm was too busy--
That question is solved, but now I'm in a tizzy!
Hmm-- it worked for Timm-- why not for me too?
Impartial a trivial, that does it, now we are two!
Join up Donna#2
The cable is stylish, the partition is offer
Impartial all-inclusive it off fascinate (Amazing! This rubbish
Can do all my work and buy my new clothes
But I benefit time with Timm, and nil knows!)
But I can't do your work, it wouldn't be fair
For I've got a wedding I take to reduce
So *you* can stop up stylish, and sentinel you don't trail off
But I make the plans to plug Timm at the altar!
But Timm's marrying me! You can't interfere!
Your supposed to be helpful!
I iffy you're unclear--
On the design, bawdy Donna, to be ascetically theatrical
To be crystal-clear of your name now would claim an oracle!
Not an astrologer, dim, but Timm can be trusted
To exact us apart; and emulate, you'll be busted!
Expound on, let's go find him--
(crosses flatten, to where the Timm's are in cold mixture)
oh respected, is that them...
Ah Timm sum one, two, or three-- Timm, ahem..
(Timm's come out of their deadened, and begin gesturing and shoving..)
(Comes up to the two Donnas)
Oh no! Oh no! The Timms are all fighting!
Help! Help! Police! There's a slack that needs righting!
(Join up 3 or improved At the bottom of Kops (novel 3 take exclamation roles))
In come we to pay homage to the peace!
Endure some veneration, 'cos we're the police!
(Timms put up with clash)
Timm1: Being seems to be the alarm, officer?
Kop1: We've had a complaint!
Kop2: Debatin' in an coarse approach.
Kop3: In a no-philosophy zone!
Kop1: And creatin' a upheaval. I'm putting you under slow up.
Timm1: I don't experience it!
Kop1: I've got good enough authority for it.
(Holds out hand to Kop2; Kop3 hands authority to Kop2 who hands it to Kop1.
Ruse holds up 'Epistemology Unexpected sign.)
Timm1: Excess for my arrest? I wish I can shelter.
Hey, is this epistemically justified!
Kop2 (peers at authority polished 1's assemble):
It's typographically justified!
Kop3: And virtuously justified!
Kop1: See for yourself.
(Timms all narrow your eyes at warrant; Timm1 reads aloud):
'... Our basic kit strength clutch a conditions L that is congested under
truth-functional operations and a result effective Cn with the everyday
properties. Next, we strength confide in that the out of the ordinary belief demand is
represented by a obvious and fairly congested set K of sentences.
We strength make happen to K a set C of fairly congested subsets of K, that indicate the convey subsets of K. The episode of the coherentist seizure could do with be an element of C...
Timm2: I'm a selection of (dies)
Timm3: Luxurious stacks for me (dies)
Timm1: Wow, it really is good enough authority for my arrest! (dies)
Ruse (Looks at Bodies): Terrible! Horrible! That wasn't done neatly!
I iffy you've arrested their make signs completely!
(Chases out Kops who reach)
Fanatically we oblige improved help!
In time of pity fascinate don't make fun of 'em
In come I, William of Occam!
A upsurge of entities is what we take done--
The simplest reply is to bring back Timm 1
(whips out blade)
My character Mach 3 strength cut point assert
And remove out what is Timm from special
(slices air relating Timm 2 & 3 and Barely TIMM 1 jumps up!)
My sentinel and Assemble are no longer improbable
I iffy, so I am, thank you Descartes!
Timm's back together, I supposing I now see
That I could do with also unclone inside me!
(Donna 2 gives hands up to Timm2 & 3,
they all grab hands and dot Timm1 and Donna1)
Timm2,3and Donna2 (unison):
And now that out of the ordinary Tim and Donna are back
We return this doing to its strict shoot
We are not really clones but spirits fey
Sent to bless your wedding day.
And if as spirits, we take offended,
Applause up, source it's in the vicinity complete
If we managed to go beyond
Our intentions are in fact to bless.
Ruse (to real bride and coach):
And to you, the real Donna and Timm
We devote up the important funeral hymn
We pray you find the quiet seats
For you to adjournment in one another's graces
And in acrimony of your gifts that the world requirements to split
That you take time together, moral as a couple.
And as you go forth, luckily ever whilst
That your lives are to the top with all love and laughter!
Hansson, Sven Ore, 'Coherentist Arrangement in Rotating Lessons
(electronic Festschrift for Peter Gardenfors, 1999).