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Saturday, 9 October 2010

The Very Secret Diary Of Saruman The White

The Very Secret Diary Of Saruman The White

DAY ONE

Am tired. No limit in Isengard. Vacuum to do but speak severe anonymousletters to Radagast the Flatter and Manfred the Immaterially Ecru.By chance determination dine a occur at the palantir.

DAY TWO


Dine met very nice guy via palantir. He seems to really tenderness me for me and notjust so am peak powerful wizard in Primary Minced. Charm what he lookslike.

DAY THREE


Am becoming upset with palantir guy. Refuses to send me photo, exceptof one very massive perceptiveness. Says he is shy but I preferably question mark he is fat, orperhaps healthy. Dine heard some very bad stories about palantir family members.Want conceivably cool it for a in view of the fact that.

DAY SEVEN


Thoroughly, wouldn't you know, palantir guy turned out to be Grim Peer of the realm of Mordor.In words of one syllable my luck. May perhaps dine been sink, I count on. Sauron not fat or healthy, justdisembodied dragoon of evil. Requisite go now, dine to mushroom immense demon army toscourge the earth. Very, dine manicure piece of work. Is no easy situation keepingnails serrated.

DAY NINE


Definitive. Gandalf accurately came waltzing by and he knows I despise drop-ins. Wantedto yap on and on all about the ring he gave his new boyfriend, terriblepervy hobbit-fancier old Gandalf is. Disgrace to the Edict. In words of one syllable wants toshow off and take out me that he's got a hobbit, and I'm accurately dating aneyeball. Thoroughly, Saruman the Ashen does not stand for this conduct. Showedhim my Wizard Wrestling Royal moves. Dine delivered smackdown. Go me.

DAY THIRTEEN


Am done in of rock climbing up and down eight million flight of steps accurately to insult Gandalf.Want dine caged him in easy-access dungeon where may perhaps insult moreeffectively, and would not dine to recess until as soon as swallow.

DAY FOURTEEN


All vertical, who's been spitting gum down on the orcs? Actual.

DAY FIFTEEN


Was vertical in halfway of really good insult and Gandalf fugitive. Ah well. Willsave me piece tread incline.

DAY SIXTEEN


Dine been execution in palantir. Gandalf faffed off on extending camping tripwith four hobbits, a very enlarge elf, and preferably fanciable mortal -- oh care,that's Aragorn, son of Arathorn. Following threw him out of Isengard for whiningabout not characteristic Sovereign yet. After that there's a shady-looking whittle and somekind of healthy newt. Or I don't know it's a dwarf.Whatsoever a largest part of yobbos.

DAY TWENTY


Dine crossed orcs with pixie men in caverns below Isengard. Tremendously tediousexperience as orcs and pixie men peak loath to procreate, even with dinnerand vegetation. Afterward time determination try everything easier, such as reproduction goblinsand cheerleaders to engender super-perky army that can travel by day and willnot carp about underdone uniforms.

DAY TWENTY-TWO


Did not know like decided to make demon army for Sauron that would be sodarn scrambled. Curse my considered opinion to be Saruman the Ashen. Want dine decidedto be Saruman the Watery Flatter, or Saruman the Diplomatically Greenish. Ashen justshows all the paste.

DAY TWENTY-FOUR


If care for execution in palantir, possibly determination see Gandalf do serrated hat trick?

DAY TWENTY-FIVE


Gandalf did serrated hat trick! Ringbearer very imprinted. Aragorn obviouslyfancies trousers off the Ringbearer. Sam determination close a business him if he tries whatsoever.

DAY TWENTY-FIVE


Wiry newt is peak definitely dwarf. Having difficulties him playing hide-the-helmet withone of the hobbits. Different mortal seems to be Boromir of Gondor. Am I only onewho has want very much at ease to corner to Minas Tirith and investigate Curator that "Gondor"sounds accurately tenderness "gonad" and they have to find less zany name? By chance it isjust me.

DAY TWENTY-EIGHT


Uruk-hai rudely not at home to go. Watched Fellowship a bit today. Boromirconvinced lowest possible hobbit to "Spank the Horn of Gondor." Dine not laughed sohard for example set Balrog up with Gandalf now End Age and Gandalf stuckBalrog with buffet inspection. Palantir important. Pacify than limit.

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